Kevin Smith's Top Ten Films of 2006
by Kevin Smith


What follows is the ten films I enjoyed the most in 2006. This is not an authoritative list. This is not me saying “These films rocked, all others sucked.” I’m not qualified to tell you what cinema is better than most. As I’ve not seen every movie that was theatrically released in 2006, I can’t even make like these ten were the best of the lot. These are MY faves - the flicks which did something for me, personally. So before you get all internet-chat-room-y and start tearing me a new one (”This hack can’t direct his own stupid ass movies, so why the f*ck’s he making like he’s film savvy?!”), remember: blasting someone because they prefer films you don’t is as futile and stupid as blasting someone who doesn’t like Devil Dogs. Not everyone is down with Drakes Cakes; some cats like that Hostess sh*t. At the end of the day, neither will prolong your life one second longer (unless you’re starving to death and somone tosses you a Yankee Doodle).

To start with, here’s a fairly comprehensive list of all the major theatrical releases of last year…

BLOODRAYNE
GRANDMA’S BOY
HOSTEL
GLORY ROAD
LAST HOLIDAY
TRISTAN & ISOLDE
UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION
ANNAPOLIS
BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE 2
IMAGINE YOU & ME
NANNY MCPHEE
TRISTRAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY
A GOOD WOMAN
MANDERLAY
SOMETHING NEW
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS
CURIOUS GEORGE
FINAL DESTINATION 3
FIREWALL
LONDON
THE PINK PANTHER
DATE MOVIE
EIGHT BELOW
FREEDOMLAND
DOOGAL
RUNNING SCARED
MADEA’S FAMILY REUNION
16 BLOCKS
AQUAMARINE
ULTRAVIOLET
ASK THE DUST
DUCK SEASON
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
THE HILLS HAVE EYES
THE LIBERTINE
THE SHAGGY DOG
DON’T COME KNOCKING
FIND ME GUILTY
SHE’S THE MAN
THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
V FOR VENDETTA
INSIDE MAN
LONESOME JIM
STAY ALIVE
ADAM & STEVE
ATL
BASIC INSTINCT 2
BRICK
ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN
SLITHER
THE BENCHWARMERS
FRIENDS WITH MONEY
LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN
TAKE THE LEAD
HARD CANDY
MOZART AND THE WHALE
THE NOTORIOUS BETTY PAGE
SCARY MOVIE 4
THE SISTERS
THE WILD
AMERICAN DREAMZ
THE SENTINEL
SILENT HILL
AKEELAH AND THE BEE
RV
STICK IT
UNITED 93
AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL
DOWN IN THE VALLEY
HOOT
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3
GOAL! THE DREAM BEGINS
JUST MY LUCK
KEEPING UP WITH THE STEINS
POSEIDON
THE DA VINCI CODE
THE KING
OVER THE HEDGE
SEE NO EVIL
X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
THE BREAK-UP
DISTRICT B13
PEACEFUL WARRIOR
THE OMEN
CARS
A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT
GARFIELD’S A TALE OF TWO KITTIES
THE LAKE HOUSE
NACHO LIBRE
CLICK
WAIST DEEP
STRANGERS WITH CANDY
SUPERMAN RETURNS
WHO KILLED THE ELECTRIC CAR?
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
BEOWULF AND GRENDEL
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST
A SCANNER DARKLY
LITTLE MAN
YOU, ME AND DUPREE
LADY IN THE WATER
CLERKS II
MONSTER HOUSE
MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
ANT BULLY
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE
MIAMI VICE
SCOOP
BARNYARD
THE DESCENT
THE NIGHT LISTENER
QUINCEANERA
TALLADEGA NIGHTS
WORLD TRADE CENTER
HALF NELSON
THE HOUSE OF SAND
PULSE
STEP UP
ZOOM
ACCEPTED
THE ILLUSIONIST
MATERIAL GIRLS
SNAKES ON A PLANE
TRUST THE MAN
BEERFEST
HOW TO EAT FRIED WORMS
IDLEWILD
INVINCIBLE
THE QUIET
CRANK
CROSSOVER
IDIOCRACY
RIDING ALONE FOR THOUSANDS OF MILES
THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED
WICKER MAN
THE COVENANT
HOLLYWOODLAND
THE PROTECTOR
THE BLACK DAHLIA
CONFETTI
EVERYONE’S HERO
GRIDIRON GANG
HAVEN
THE LAST KISS
ALL THE KING’S MEN
AMERICAN HARDCORE
FEARLESS
FEAST
FLYBOYS
JACKASS NUMBER 2
THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP
THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
THE GUARDIAN
A GUIDE TO RECOGNIZING YOUR SAINTS
OPEN SEASON
SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS
THE DEPARTED
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
LITTLE CHILDREN
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING
THE GRUDGE 2
INFAMOUS
MAN OF THE YEAR
THE MARINE
THE QUEEN
OPERATION STORMBREAKER
FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS
FLICKA
MARIE ANTOINETTE
THE PRESTIGE
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
BABEL
CATCH A FIRE
SAW 3
BORAT
FLUSHED AWAY
THE SANTA CLAUSE 3
VOLVER
FUR
A GOOD YEAR
HARSH TIMES
THE RETURN
STRANGER THAN FICTION
BOBBY
CANDY
CASINO ROYALE
FAST FOOD NATION
FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
HAPPY FEET
THE HISTORY BOYS
DECK THE HALLS
DEJA VU
THE FOUNTAIN
LET’S GO TO PRISON
APOCALYPTO
BREAKING AND ENTERING
DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE
THE GOOD GERMAN
THE HOLIDAY
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS
BLOOD DIAMOND
DREAMGIRLS
ERAGON
THE PAINTED VEIL
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
CHARLOTTE’S WEB
THE GOOD SHEPHERD
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
ROCKY BALBOA
NOTES ON A SCANDAL
MS. POTTER
WE ARE MARSAHLL
BLACK CHRISTMAS
CHILDREN OF MEN
PERFUME
PAN’S LABYRINTH


Of those, here are the 85 I saw…

Hostel
Tristram Shandy
Curious George
Firewall
The Pink Panther
Doogal
Running Scared
16 Blocks
The Hills Have Eyes
The Shaggy Dog
Find Me Guilty
Thank You For Smoking
V For Vendetta
Inside Man
Basic Instinct 2
Brick
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Slither
Friends With Money
Lucky Number Slevin
Hard Candy
The Notorious Betty Page
American Dreamz
The Sentinel
Silent Hill
Akeelah and the Bee
United 93
Art School Confidential
Down in the Valley
Mission Impossible 3
Poseidon
The Da Vinci Code
Over the Hedge
X-Men: The Last Stand
The Break-Up
The Omen
Cars
A Prairie Home Companion
Nacho Libre
Superman Returns
The Devil Wears Prada
Pirates of the Carribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
You, Me and Dupree
Lady in the Water
Clerks II
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Little Miss Sunshine
Miami Vice
Scoop
The Descent
Quinceanera
Talladega Nights
World Trade Center
Half Nelson
Step Up
Accepted
The Illusionist
Snakes on a Plane
Invincible
This Film is Not Yet Rated
Wicker Man
Hollywoodland
The Black Dahlia
The Last Kiss
Feast
The Last King of Scotland
The Guardian
Open Season
The Departed
Little Children
Infamous
The Queen
Marie Antoinette
The Prestige
Running with Scissors
Babel
Borat
Stranger Than Fiction
Bobby
Candy
Happy Feet
The Fountain
Breaking and Entering
The Good German
The Holiday
Blood Diamond
Dreamgirls
The Pursuit of Happyness
The Good Shepherd
Night at the Museum
Rocky Balboa
Notes on a Scandal
Ms. Potter
Children of Men
Perfume
Pan’s Labyrinth

Of the 85 I saw, here are my Top Ten for 2006, starting with number one (motherf*ck burying the lead)…

The One Everybody Else Liked Too
THE DEPARTED

This is the one film I watched repeatedly in 2006 (other than “Clerks II”, which I had to watch even more during our edit, promotion, etc.) - and I did so because it’s so f*cking genius. I’ve seen it eight times now, and it’s been an excellent, compelling watch every time. I will never tire of it. Lots of folks were saying “Scorcese’s back!”, but I never thought he left; can’t a brother take a leave of absence from the genre he defined to try other sh*t every once in awhile?

But return to the genre he’s most identified with he did, and Jesus, did Mr. Scorcese do so with a vengeance! “The Departed” is so good, it’s actually a strong contender for sex substitute: I’d almost rather watch the flick again than get laid (almost). All the performances, across the board, are superb, but the star turn, for me, was by Matty Damon: he was outstanding as the nearly amoral, uber-charming climber who acts as Jack Nicholson’s eyes and ears within the Boston PD. The elevator scene in which Leonardo DiCaprio has Matt’s corupt cop cuffed is my favorite movie moment of the year - particularly when Matt swings from defiant to broken, begging to be shot. If you haven’t seen this flick yet, what is your problem?

The One That Would’ve Won Best Picture If Harvey Weinstein Had Released It Four Years Ago, Circa Miramax
LITTLE CHILDREN

Todd Field’s study in upper-middle-class suburban unrest and desire is a clinic in subtle performance, largely thanks to the ever-brilliant Kate Winslet. The omniscient narrator, however, owns this flick and elevated it for me: it’s one of the few times omniscient narration was ever used so effectively (and at all: normally, a story narrator in film is a character in the flick). The film felt like a novel splayed across the screen, and I don’t mean it was simply a strong adaptation; it felt like someone was reading you a novel. And I mean that in the best possible way.

The One That Made Me Ashamed I Was Ever Identified as an Independent Filmmaker, Because This is Real Independent Film
HALF NELSON

The crime of Matt Damon not getting an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor in “The Departed” is almost made up for by Ryan Gosling being recognized for his career-defining turn in this small, powerful Sundance graduate. Gosling proves he’s easily the best actor of his generation with his work here, as a laid-back, engaging inner-city teacher/girls basketball coach who’s nursing a serious drug addiction. Newcomer Shakeera Epps as the student who “gets” him and Anthony Mackie as the neighborhood dealer also shine in this flick that reaffirmed my faith in (and love for) Indie Cinema.

The One I’ll Take sh*t For, Pt. 1
CLERKS II

Yeah, gauche to include your own flick on your own top ten list, but f*ck you: I loved this film. How could I not? It came from me, for Christ’s sake. The f*cking thing was tailor-made for my tastes. It’s just f*cking sad that, considering how customized this flick came for me as a film-lover, I still enjoyed three other films more than my own.

“Clerks II” is my favorite flick I ever made. Hence, it makes the list. If that bugs you, then you’re retarded and need to get out more.

The One Nobody Else Seems to Remember
INSIDE MAN

I’m a Spike Lee fan. I’m a Denzel Washington fan. I’m a Spike/Denzel team-up fan (”Malcolm X”, “Mo’ Better Blues”, “He Got Game”). So this flick was right up my alley. An entertaining and energetic heist movie, “Inside Man” represented a new chapter in Spike’s career: Spike as the director of commercial fare he didn’t write. And if anyone was uncertain before (and after “Do the Right Thing”, how could they be?), it’s abundantly clear with “Inside Man” that Mr. Lee is one of the ten best American directors working today.

The One I’ll Take sh*t For, Pt. 2
V FOR VENDETTA

Despite the presence of the Wachowski Brothers as producers, comparisons to “The Matrix” were unfair, I felt: this political action thriller based on the graphic novel stands on its own. Even though it took liberties with its classic source material, “V” still held up as cinema - in much the same way that Kubrick’s “The Shining” is equally (but differently) as strong a piece as the book it was based on. Kudos for casting the always interesting Hugo Weaving in the lead, instead of an overpaid A-lister who we’d eventually see remove the mask.

The One That Made Me Never Want to Travel Abroad
THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Yes, Forest Whitaker is as good as the awards groups are saying in this historical drama that examines the brutal rise to power of Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, as seen through the eyes of his personal physician. A relevant but unfortunate title seems to be keeping the mainstream from boosting the box office take of a film that should be required viewing in any acting class, so riveting is Whitaker’s passive/bloodily aggressive performance as the paranoid despot.

The One That Made Me Never Want to Fly Again
UNITED 93

Shot as though Paul Greengrass were a documentarian aboard the doomed September 11th flight, “United 93″ is a gut-wrenching, nearly real-time study in the horror of a hostage situation in which negotiation to a peaceful conclusion was never an option. Wisely cast with veritable unknowns, “United 93″ isn’t just a loving memorial to some of the first victims of the “War on Terror”, it’s awesome filmmaking.

The One That Made Me Say “What the f*ck is going on?!?”
PERFUME

I never read the best-selling book, so I had no idea where this picture was going. And Lord, did it go to weird, imaginative places. Grubby, puzzling and surprisingly touching, this look into the life of a man with an extraordinary sense of smell (and the crimson lengths he’ll go to for it) plays as a sad valentine to first love and the frustrating inability to recreate it.

The One That Actually Lived Up to Its Hype
BORAT

We’ve seen actors starve themselves and put on massive amounts of weight to play roles, but Sacha Baron Cohen’s ability to stay in character not just throughout the shoot, but also throughout the months-long promotion and release of this extremely funny film version of his “Da Ali G Show” character deserved at least an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor. What easily could’ve grown tired and dismissed as merely an overly-extended sketch was kept fresh and funny, thanks wholly to Cohen’s Sellers-like commitment to inhabiting his creation. Yes, the wrestling scene is hysterical, but for me, the funniest moment in a film crammed wall to wall with funny moments was when Borat is looking down at a large turtle (tortoise?) and asks “What kind of dog is this?”


Honorable Mentions go to…

Children of Men
Mission Impossible 3
The Break-Up
Thank You For Smoking
Little Miss Sunshine
Talladega Nights
Marie Antoinette
The Prestige